Friday, August 4, 2017

Why is one more light so heavy?

7-25-17



Why is everything so heavy?     For Andrea, and everyone else who loved Chester, With love.

Did you hear the rumbling of the train on it's tracks? Fast approaching. Headed straight for you. Were you drawn to it's warm lighted seating area for expectant weary travelers? Promising comfort and safe passage. 

You must've, we all do. Those of us drawn to an end to our suffering. We hear the comings and goings of that dark train, on and off. Sometimes we casually observe as it passes by. Sometimes we're drawn to the train stop it's self, as if we can find answers there. Looking for some sort of schedule or pattern. If the train is anything but arbitrary we'll never know.

Most passengers will attempt to board more than once in heir lives. I have a few times. Each time being spat out, at the stop, more violently than the last. 

I don't know what the statistics are, but not all of us will find out where that train goes or why. I can only hope that it's weary travelers have left the heaviness of their luggage behind. And the destination is kinder than the origin.

Rest in Peace Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington

Below are lyrics to "Heavy" and "One more Light" Lyrics written by Chester Bennington


"Heavy"


I don't like my mind right now
Stacking up problems that are so unnecessary
Wish that I could slow things down
I wanna let go but there's comfort in the panic
And I drive myself crazy
Thinking everything's about me
Yeah, I drive myself crazy
'Cause I can’t escape the gravity
I'm holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on
So much more than I can carry
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down
If I just let go, I'd be set free
Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
You say that I'm paranoid
But I'm pretty sure the world is out to get me
It's not like I make the choice
To let my mind stay so fucking messy
I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same
I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same
I'm holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on
So much more than I can carry
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down
If I just let go, I'd be set free
Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same
I know I'm not the center of the universe
But you keep spinning 'round me just the same
And I drive myself crazy
Thinking everything’s about me
Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?
Holding on
So much more than I can carry
I keep dragging around what's bringing me down
If I just let go, I'd be set free
Holding on
Why is everything so heavy?

"One more Light"
Should've stayed, were there signs, I ignored?
Can I help you, not to hurt, anymore?
We saw brilliance, when the world, was asleep
There are things that we can have, but can't keep
If they say
Who cares if one more light goes out?
In a sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone's time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
We're quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do
The reminders pull the floor from your feet
In the kitchen, one more chair than you need oh
And you're angry, and you should be, it's not fair
Just 'cause you can't see it, doesn't mean it, isn't there
If they say
Who cares if one more light goes out?
In a sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone's time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
We're quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do
Who cares if one more light goes out?
In a sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone's time runs out?
If a moment is all we are
We're quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out?
Well I do
Well I do
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

National Suicide Prevention Hotline
1-800-273-8255

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